My mom has been deteriorating for the past couple months. She’s currently on hospice. I’ve been her main caregiver. that’s been not only challenging, but instructive. I am learning how far I am from being unselfish and totally dedicated. Here’s a poem that describes one humbling moment:
Sometimes night conceals. Sometime it reveals. Caregiving for a parent is going fine by day, the spinning top of dressing walking sitting feeding medicating comforting proceed without a wobble, but night is different. “I need to get up.” “You did a little while ago.” “I need to again.” I compute my hours of lost sleep, and, the books unbalanced, add a sum of distance and discourtesy. Back in bed, I feel the hard stone of ego, wanting its ascendency. I serve, but I’m yet to be a servant.

June 25, 2022 at 6:20 pm
Bob, I am praying that your journey in caring for your mother during this time will not exhaust you. You disclose your struggle to let go of ego during this difficult time, to be a servant. In your emptying of ego may you find God’s serenity and intimate love for you and your mother. Thanks for sharing so deeply. Peter
July 3, 2022 at 7:26 pm
Thanks so much, Peter. Ego persists, doesn’t it? Mom died the morning of the 26th. We’ll have the funeral this coming Friday, so this is an in-between time.
June 25, 2022 at 7:36 pm
Hi Bob, you have come to mind several times lately and now I know why. Grace and peace and forgiveness and self-forgiveness be with you. I can’t imagine being as selfless as you are called to be right now.
July 3, 2022 at 7:28 pm
Thanks for your prayers of grace, peace, and self-forgiveness. It’s taken a while to reply. Mom died last Sunday, so things are out of sorts right now. I’m doing well though; I’m glad her struggle is over.
July 5, 2022 at 5:02 pm
I’m so sorry. I don’t have any words that seem suitable. If you ever come to NC I’d still like to meet over coffee. Grace and peace to you…
July 5, 2022 at 11:54 pm
Thanks. I hope to visit a friend in Atlanta in the fall. Are you in the NC mountains? I might be able to swing by on the way down or back.
July 6, 2022 at 12:35 am
I’m in Durham, but love to go to the mountains in the fall, so could possibly come out that way.
July 6, 2022 at 12:46 am
We can be in touch.